You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
