If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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