Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Is Oprah even human
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
