It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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