i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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