shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
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