i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
