Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
