nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
