we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize