He had one of those small greek statue penises
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
