don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
