i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
