and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
