Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
