Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
