Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize