I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
