Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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