That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
