ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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