Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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