It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
