You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
