yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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