What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
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