so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
