Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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