I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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