wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We are all done wearing pants today
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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