This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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