Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
