am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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