she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize