erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
pop tarts are not kleenex
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
