I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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