if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize