My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
