Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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