that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I can't turn off my feet"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
