My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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