so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
