I got chris browned last night
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
