the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
