I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
