I need to stop coming to work sober
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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