NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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