I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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