k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize