I feel great
I just peed on a car
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
