OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
