i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
