I feel great
I just peed on a car
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
