I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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