I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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