i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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