lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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