you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
ttyl tear gas
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
