i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
