I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
