I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
