is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
