just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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