my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
