She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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