So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
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