remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
