they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
