We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
