Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
