If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize